Thanks

For the shot in the heart
for the thought of death
the depression
the anger
and most of all



FOR KILLING MY SOUL

Life

Why do i have to make everyone else happy and i get barely anything in return


thanks alot everyone


im just wasteing away

Im So Messed Up

Im so confused
im so broken
im undeniable broken
someone help me
someone save me
im lost with noone
some one
save me

Marissa Grace Sullivan

You saved my life

your the help i need
wen i say i dont

you got that smile
i smile wen i see it

your the greatest
and the dorkiest

you actually care
your actually there

that date is remember
eight/twenty-sixth/two thousand ten
:)

Next week

Why am i thinking bout her so much
im waking up wit blood shot eyes
ever time she come in my head a little of me dies


next week will suck

1. i have to see her
2. shes given my stuff back
3. SHES NOT MINE
4. ....

So sadly enough it happened

Me and the girl i was deeply in love with broke up

wow it happened im single again...

i like it but i dont at the same time

i can go out and have fun with the guys

but then again i cant call her mine

life is confusing

just a punch in the face

ill be ok soon

crying to sleep

dying slowly

its bad

goodbye

i cant believe it

OMFG all i can say

I FUCKING HATE HER DAD


THE END

This is the way i feel

i hate myself....im a disappointment and ugly...why do girls like me?

the end

OMFG

This whole weekend has pissed me off

right now its so stupid

my friends invited these 2 girls over and they annoy the hell outta me and this other girl we are hanging out wit

the thig that messes wit me is that they are even hanging out wit them and me and britt (the cool girl) have to deal with them

Im annoyed with their voices!!!!!!

Life with out a name

Thats how i feel sometimes like im just a being im a life without a name
i feel like i let her down
make her cry
upset her
i wanna cry ALOT
i wish i was a better guy

what worries me

the things that worry me is as follows:

1. losing my future wife (knock on wood)
2. losing my family
3. losing my friends
4. family or friend going into surgery
5. myself going into surgery

and yes death is not on the list most people say that you should be worried to die...im really not that worried about it because i know that if i die tomorrow that ive lived my life the way i wanted it to be lived

the thing is about life is that it gives happiness sadness hatred and loneliness. If you know me you know ive been through all that shit and right now...no more sadness for me im not lonely anymore i dont hate i get frustrated and i couldnt be happier.

if anyones got ideas for me about some new poetry comment me some topics and ill try to write about them and post them up here. id love to here what you guys have to say!!!

this is really happening

why are you doing this 2 days before our 5 month the thing ive been looking forward to throughout our relationship in 2 days i can actually say my longest constant and of and on relationship is you why in gods name is this happening if there is a god let him save me now when i truely need it

My Weekend

I wish prom never ended it was a great time hanging out with friends an i love hanging out wit her


she means everything to me

i wish she couldve gone to denny's with us

Wow

I never thought that this amount of pain could be phsically possible

its like someone is literally smashing my spine with a sledge hammer

i wish she was her to help me it hurts so much

Inside joke time

WINDOW, WINDOW, WINDOW, DOOR!!!!!!!

So here we go again

she is totally having to make a choice im not the happiest person in the world...she keeps making plans with her friend even though she has no idea what I'm doing i feel like she doesn't wanna hang out with me sometimes


anyone got anything that could possibly help me out

So...

i found something weird thats been going on people will probably think im mking this up but like when my girlfriend is in pain so am i...its like we are connected some how... and also when shes in pain and the like 10 minutes later shes not then im in twice as much pain

CREEPY

The thing is...

(IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN DO NOT READ THIS POST LOL)

For the fact that religon is a very weird subject for people im just gonna come right out and say what i believe is correct.

I believe:

1. jesus was a man that didnt really do anything special he was just sentenced to death in one of the most horrible way possible
2. i dont really think that there is a god i think that there is a being looking over us but i dont think its god
3. that we should all just shut up and pay attention to not just the religon we are and pay attention to the others, if you dont know it dont judge it
4. the bible condredicts itself like what only is a miracle but magic
5. well here is my belief sumed up...IDK

thats it

thanks for reading

Well today was just one of those days...

Just another day that i couldn't see her all day. It absolutly sucked! I feel like things are fading between us a little and i don't want that to happen i need to fix that! Today i feel like she is getting upset with me. i just don't know what is going through her mind i know she loves me i just wonder if she feels like we need to hang out more so we can fix this feeling together bcause i know we can we love eachother a lot. I just dont want this relationship to end up like all my others. Me making a horrible mistake and doing something with out thinking and i break her heart and my own. This relationship has honestly been my best relationship since the 7th grade (if you can really count the 7th grade as having a relationship).

Ok other than that, the reason i was away from her was that we went to festival today and we did good i think i did horrible though [i always do (self-esteam issues)]. The rest of the band did great. My band director was actually nervous which never happens and it made me even more nervous!! The funny thing is is that i went to k-state for this concert band clinic and everyone says from that weekend I've gotten so much better at the drum and alot more confident with who i am and how i hold myself, i just don't see it.

Today some people also told me that i need to stop being so nice to people that make me mad. I say but what is the point for being mad at someone that just frustrates me A LOT we are all ending up in the same place (in the ground if you werent gonna guess that....HAHA giggle a little)

OH yeah i forgot something else today my bestfriend was an idiot and stuck 2 metal hangers in an eletrically socket. First he was gonna try with pennys but that didnt work so he found the hangers then WOW!! long story short after he did that he couldnt feel his hands

There it is for tonight hope you had fun reading about my day

The thing about her

That girl actually makes me feel like im someone to the world and she always makes me feel special. this girl means everything to me and i don't think she honest to god knows it completely yet. i wish she did so she would finally trust me as much as i need to be trusted. The thing about her is that she is the most amazing girlfriend ive had ever like i really hope that i get married to this girl (knocking on wood). She is almost my whole life if she isnt really happy then i feel like i havent done my job as her boyfriend.



And to be honest she is one of the most important people in my life!!!!

McGee's first blog

so the thing is that if you really wanna do this blogging thing correctly (if there really is a correct way to blog...i dont think there is lol) you really need stuff to talk about so yeah ill think of some things and put them up lol